What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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