i wish there were pregnant emoticons
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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