Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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