please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
