Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
