Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
