Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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