sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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