Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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