I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
