Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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