Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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