I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
