how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
