He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
