CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
