More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i dont even know how to be here
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
