walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
