he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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