the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
