Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
