I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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