So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
