we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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