So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
