You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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