You can't special order awesome
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
