kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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