Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
