So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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