I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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