Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
