stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
