new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
