remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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