the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
