We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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