I must be too annoying 4 u.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
