Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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