this just has baby written all over it
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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