just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
