Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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