yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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