New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
