have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
