My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
