Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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