i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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