my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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