Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
