Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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