dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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